The Art of Relating: When Sharing Your Experience is the Best Response

Relating someone’s experience to your own can often feel off-putting, because it changes the conversation to be about you. However, this technique has its merits in specific situations, offering a way to truly connect with others when used well. Let's delve into these instances and understand how this form of empathetic listening can create connection.

Normalizing Experience

The first scenario where self-relating becomes a powerful listening tool is when the person you're conversing with feels there is something wrong with them. By sharing a similar experience from your own life, you engage in "normalizing." In essence, you are communicating that their struggle is normal and part of the shared human condition.

Shared Experiences in Moments of Loneliness

The second instance where self-relating becomes a potent listening tool is when the other person is feeling alone. Human connection is a fundamental need, and during moments of isolation, sharing a personal experience can bridge the gap between two individuals. When we relate our own experiences, we communicate that they are not in it by themselves.

This type of response can be particularly comforting for someone who might be grappling with feelings of isolation or inadequacy. It transforms the conversation from a one-sided exchange to a shared exploration of common ground. However, a crucial caveat remains—ensure that the person you're talking to wants this form of validation before offering it, as misreading the situation might inadvertently shift the focus to yourself, and feel dismissive, rather than providing the support they need.

In the realm of effective communication, the ability to truly listen and respond appropriately is a valuable skill. It can be quite confusing to understand when relating conversations back to oneself is good or dismissive, but through reading cues and practicing we can learn to make the person we’re talking to feel connected and cared for.

By normalizing experiences and bridging the gap of loneliness, we transform conversations into shared journeys, reinforcing similarity and the human connection that lies at the core of meaningful interactions. However, the key lies in discernment—knowing when to share and when to simply listen ensures that the focus remains on supporting others rather than directing attention to oneself.

Watch our YouTube short video on this topic here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgcjUztraRI